Routine > Schedule

As parents, our lives function on a schedule. We need to leave the house by 7:45 a.m. to drop the kids at school by 8:00, so we can make it to the office in time for our first meeting at 8:15. Our days are filled with scheduled meetings and check-ins, all the way through leaving work in time for school pick-up and soccer practice at 4:30.

It can honestly be exhausting AND overwhelming to be thinking about the clock constantly. Not to mention tracking how long dinner will take so it’s on the table before everyone is HANGRY. While much of our life has to function this way in order to work with the outside world, hold jobs, and attend school, our children actually rely far more on routine than on schedules.

So, what does that mean?

Don’t get me wrong, having consistent wake times, mealtimes, and bedtimes that fall within the same 30–45 minute window each day is important for children. But what matters even more for a child’s regulation and future executive functioning skills is having a set routine for these daily tasks.

By a set routine, I mean a predictable sequence of events.

For example, if your child goes to bed every night at 7:45 p.m. on the dot, but the order of brushing teeth, taking a bath, putting on pajamas, and reading books changes from night to night, this can actually lead to meltdowns, pushback, and more negotiating from your child. Why?

Because young children are not as aware of the clock as we are. In fact, most children don’t learn to tell time until first grade or later. When the sequence of events during the main parts of their day feels inconsistent, it can feel unpredictable. And unpredictability creates stress for kids.

When things feel unpredictable, tension rises and emotions get big. Children may start to negotiate: one more book, snuggle me for five more minutes, I need a drink of water. They aren’t trying to be difficult! They’re grasping for clarity around where the boundaries and routines actually are.

Creating predictability through consistent routines is one of the most powerful things we can do to support our children’s future executive functioning, emotional intelligence, and ability to collaborate.

So if you’re struggling with potty learning, picky eating, bedtime, or school drop-off, take a look at your routine. What does it actually look like right now?

Want to change your routines but not sure where to start? Let us help! Book a free call with us below.

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